perspicacious.org

I'm trying to think of how to describe today, a banner day if ever there was one. *sigh*

There is a boy in my class who has had problems since the beginning of the year. He has been held back once and should really have been held back again last year. He will be 12 next month. He attended another Catholic school last year, and a different one the year before that. So far this year he has missed more than 20 days of school.

I've spent a lot of time working with him, cajoling him, calling his dad, sending notes home… Nothing I've done has made any difference. He does as close to nothing as possible. He never does anything at home. At his conference in December (which Dad forgot about and then came 2 hours late after I called him,) the principal and I stressed the importance of helping this kid to get some work done at home. We didn't want him to slip throught the cracks. We knew he could do the work, but didn't out of laziness. The father smiled and shook my hand, told me he'd check his son's planner every night and make sure he did his homework. The kid started doing some of his work, but was still having behavior problems and missng work.

I had the boy sign a contract stating that he would come to school prepared and try his best. The very next day he came in unprepared. I have spent so much time being tough on this kid, keeping him inside at recess (I hate doing that,) making him work in the hall (I hate doing that, too,) using every consequence I can come up with. Nothing has made any difference. This morning he came in half an hour late with no homework to turn in. He smiled and took his time getting unpacked. We were in the middle of checking a math assignment. He began writing the answers to the questions as I read them. I asked what he was doing. He said that he wasn't doing anything. I sent him out of the room. I tore his paper up in front of him. He just shrugged. I sent him to the principal with a referral. The principal decides that the only option at this point is to expel him. She calls his father. He sits outside her office for most of the morning.

I talked with the principal at lunch. We decided not to expel the boy, but to give him an ultimatum. Another ultimatum, really. We were both angry and upset, but we know that he won't make it if he goes to public school. She told me that the father will come sometime during the afternoon, and we will have a conference. I spent the afternoon on edge, waiting for something to happen. I had the boy work on his considerable amount of late work in the hallway. He did very little.

The father never showed up.

I feel horrible about all of this. I look back on the past year with this kid and think of all of the things I could have done. There must be something that will make a difference. But how can I compete with a father that doesn't even show up when his son is being expelled? I've spent so many nights worrying about this kid, dreaming up new things to try. The other teachers were sympathetic, told me that there was nothing else I could have done. But there must have been. There must have been something that would have stopped this kid from failing. I feel like I didn't do enough. I also think that maybe I made this happen. I've thought more than once of how my class would be easier to manage without this kid. I waorry that I created this situation.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I feel tense and worried. I hurt for this kid. I don't know what else to do.